What Does It Really Mean to Reframe Your Thoughts?

Do you ever lie awake replaying something you said earlier that day, thinking “Why am I like this?”

"Why did you say that?"

Maybe even feeling behind, inadequate, or embarrassed. That one mistake looping in your head, round and round, trapped in a cycle of your own negative thoughts, stopping you from being able to focus on anything else and even affecting your sleep pattern because you just cant shake it from your mind.

Well most of our suffering doesn’t come from the situation itself , it comes from the meaning we attach to it, yes, read that again. We can sometimes exaggerate the meaning until it becomes impossible to bear and its all we can think about, this then creates and negative cycle in our heads, like a hamster wheel, going round and round making it is impossible to get off.

So what's the answer? How can we help ourselves break this cycle?

Well the good news is there is a way, the bad news is it doesn't come naturally. We have to train our brain to do it.

Whats this magic called, I hear you shout.....

Its called Reframing and the reason this is so difficult to do is because the neuroscience behind our brains means they are wired to detect threat, and negative thoughts and bias are normal. It is our default setting to immediately jump to a negative because it takes less energy than searching for the positive. The good news is our thoughts are not facts, we just need to remind ourselves of this......

So what is reframing and how can i do it?

Reframing is:

• Looking at the same situation through a more compassionate lens.

• Challenging automatic, negative or limited thoughts.

• Creating space between impulse and interpretation.

  
  

Here is an example of how we can reframe some of our thoughts to reset our mindset.

Other examples could include:

• “I embarrassed myself.”→ “I had a human moment.”

• “Everyone is ahead of me.”→ “I’m on a different timeline.”

• “I should be better than this.”→ “Growth isn’t linear.”

When you read this, what reframes come to mind for you?

The technique I use when coaching is to teach my coachees to CATCH the thought, we are all aware when we have a negative thought, even if we don't feel it at the time, it sits with us and leaves a sour taste in our mouths and our minds when the realisation comes that it was there. We need to catch the thought before it becomes an emotion. At first this can be pretty tiring as it isn't normally the way your brain deals with negative thoughts. A lot of my clients have said this is the hardest step because you have to be hyper aware at first, so rather than letting it sit, find it, catch it!

The next step is CHECK it. Is this thought accurate, is this thought useful? What would you say to a friend if they were going through the same thing?

That is the point in which we can CHANGE it. change it to a more accurate, helpful or kind thought. We deserve that.

The more you do this, the more natural this will become. Catching it will become less of a chase, checking it wont take so long and changing it will become second nature.

Reframing is one of the most powerful tools you can learn - and once you have the techniques your thought process will never be the same again :-)